-
Cots will be placed in the
Narthex for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in".
-
There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel our pews are too hard.
-
Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night.
-
We will have steel helmets for those who say, "the roof would cave in if I ever came to church."
-
Blankets will be provided for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot.
-
Scorecards will be available
for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
-
Relatives and friends will be
in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.
-
There will be TV dinners for
those who can't go to church and cook dinner too.
-
We will distribute "Stamp Out
Stewardship" buttons for those who feel that the church is always asking for
money.
-
One section will be devoted
to trees and grass for those who like to see God in nature (like golf
courses).
-
Doctors and nurses will be in
attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
-
We will provide hearing aids
for those who can't hear the liturgy, and cotton for those who think it is
too loud.
-
Finally, the altar will be decorated
with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never
seen the church without them.
